It's Never Late to Learn!!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Some Words of Wisdom
Pass the Biscuits Please..
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night, in particular, when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burnt
biscuits in front of my Dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet, all my Dad did was reached for his biscuit, smiled at my Mom and asked me how my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night; but I do remember hearing my Mom apologizing to my Dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burnt biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides, a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
So, please pass me a biscuit.. And yes, the burnt one will do just fine!
biscuits in front of my Dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet, all my Dad did was reached for his biscuit, smiled at my Mom and asked me how my day was at school.
I don't remember what I told him that night; but I do remember hearing my Mom apologizing to my Dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burnt biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides, a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
So, please pass me a biscuit.. And yes, the burnt one will do just fine!
And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life - I just did!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.
ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!!
It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice!
Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord,
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.
ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!!
It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice!
Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord,
but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.
~ Proverbs 28:14 ~
~ Proverbs 28:14 ~
Monday, August 29, 2011
SUCH BEAUTIFUL WORDS
Someone has written these beautiful words. One must read and try to understand the deep meanings in them. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time. Here goes ~~
1. Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble; it is a "steering wheel" that directs us in the right path throughout life.
2. Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.
3. Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.
4. All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
5. Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!
6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!
7. When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8. A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing an eyesight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."
9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10. WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES; it takes away today’s PEACE.
If you really enjoy this, PLEASE share it to others.
Who knows, it could brighten someone's day...
May Your Dreams Comes True..
Raul Pelagio
Friday, August 19, 2011
Plant a Seed
A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together..
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.
I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one
I choose will be the next CEO."
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still
nothing.
By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at
the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his youngexecutives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new
Chief Executive Officer!"
* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
Think about this for a minute....
If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?
If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?
This is a test to see who your real
friends are or if you are just someone to talk to you when they are bored.
Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
They blink together,
they move together,
they cry together,
they see things together,
and they sleep together,
but they never see each other;
....that's what friendship is..
Your aspiration is your motivation, your
motivation is your belief,
your belief is your peace,
your peace is your target,
your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it!
Thanks for following my blog..
May your dreams comes true..
Raul Pelagio
Inspirational Quotes
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together..
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.
I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one
I choose will be the next CEO."
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still
nothing.
By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at
the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his youngexecutives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new
Chief Executive Officer!"
* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.
Think about this for a minute....
If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?
If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?
This is a test to see who your real
friends are or if you are just someone to talk to you when they are bored.
Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
They blink together,
they move together,
they cry together,
they see things together,
and they sleep together,
but they never see each other;
....that's what friendship is..
Your aspiration is your motivation, your
motivation is your belief,
your belief is your peace,
your peace is your target,
your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it!
Thanks for following my blog..
May your dreams comes true..
Raul Pelagio
Inspirational Quotes
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Another good story -must read (The Blind Girl)
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He's always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend. One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how the human brain changes when our status changes. Only a few remember what life was like before and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, And fulfill it.
God bless you all..
Raul V. Pelagio
This is how the human brain changes when our status changes. Only a few remember what life was like before and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A Gift Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, And fulfill it.
God bless you all..
Raul V. Pelagio
Monday, August 1, 2011
The Pencil & The Eraser
This is for all the parents out there.....
Pencil: I am sorry....
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry ... coz you get hurt bcoz of me. Whenever I made mistakes, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true! But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)
I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.
Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil.
They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually passed on).
Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they did for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying or sad.
In view of this, let us reflect and contemplate on our life ... the present, the past and the future ...
and let us offer this prayer ~~
Lord, thank You for allowing me to undergo trials, which You know I can handle. I offer back to You the trials I face today, for I know that Your love alone is more than enough for me to overcome them;
Lord, please teach me to believe constantly that bcoz of Your love, I will have answers to all my problems; and let my doubts disappear to be replaced by hope -- in Your love for me;
Through difficult times, Lord, please teach me to trust in You. And, please help me to surrender my life to You each day ... my will to Your will, so that Your glory may be made more manifest in me, as your humble servant.
This I pray, through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Raul Pelagio
Pencil: I am sorry....
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry ... coz you get hurt bcoz of me. Whenever I made mistakes, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true! But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)
I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.
Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil.
They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually passed on).
Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they did for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying or sad.
In view of this, let us reflect and contemplate on our life ... the present, the past and the future ...
and let us offer this prayer ~~
Lord, thank You for allowing me to undergo trials, which You know I can handle. I offer back to You the trials I face today, for I know that Your love alone is more than enough for me to overcome them;
Lord, please teach me to believe constantly that bcoz of Your love, I will have answers to all my problems; and let my doubts disappear to be replaced by hope -- in Your love for me;
Through difficult times, Lord, please teach me to trust in You. And, please help me to surrender my life to You each day ... my will to Your will, so that Your glory may be made more manifest in me, as your humble servant.
This I pray, through Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Raul Pelagio
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking
The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.
Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.
Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.
1. I will be happy once I have ____ (or once I earn X).
Problem:
If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car, or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.
Solution:
Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are... right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).
Problem:
We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool ... as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.
Solution:
Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now ... not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.
3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.
Problem:
First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful ... in different ways.
Solution:
Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too ... in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.
4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.
Problem:
Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.
Solution:
See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.
5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.
Problem:
Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.
Solution:
Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.
6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?
Problem:
Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.
Solution:
See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger ... in disguise.
7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?
Problem:
This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots.
Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.
Solution:
Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something.
Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success.
Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.
8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.
Problem:
I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.
Solution:
Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time.
Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.
9. Insulting People Back
Problem:
If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.
Solution:
Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.
10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.
Problem:
If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.
Solution:
Turn your thinking around ~ you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.
Learned a great deal from this, hope it's not yet late to absorb and try to apply, if applicable ...
Raul V. Pelagio
Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.
Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.
1. I will be happy once I have ____ (or once I earn X).
Problem:
If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car, or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.
Solution:
Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are... right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).
Problem:
We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool ... as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.
Solution:
Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now ... not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.
3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.
Problem:
First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful ... in different ways.
Solution:
Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too ... in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.
4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.
Problem:
Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.
Solution:
See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.
5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.
Problem:
Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.
Solution:
Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.
6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?
Problem:
Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.
Solution:
See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger ... in disguise.
7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?
Problem:
This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots.
Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.
Solution:
Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something.
Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success.
Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.
8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.
Problem:
I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.
Solution:
Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time.
Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.
9. Insulting People Back
Problem:
If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.
Solution:
Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.
10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.
Problem:
If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.
Solution:
Turn your thinking around ~ you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.
Learned a great deal from this, hope it's not yet late to absorb and try to apply, if applicable ...
Raul V. Pelagio
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