5 Minute Management Course

> Lesson 1:
>
> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
> shower, when the doorbell rings.
>
> The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
>
> When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
>
> Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
> towel.'
>
>
> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
> naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
> leaves.
>
>
> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
>
> When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
>
> 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
>
> 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he
> owes me?'
>
>
>
> Moral of the story:
>
> If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
> your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
> avoidable exposure.
>
>
>
> Lesson 2:
>
>
> A priest offered a Nun a lift.
>
> She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
>
> The priest nearly had an accident.
>
> After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>
> The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
>
> The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
> slide up her leg again.
> The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
>
> The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
>
> Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
>
>
> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
> It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
>
> Moral of the story:
> If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
> opportunity.
>
>
>
> Lesson 3:
>
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
> lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
>
> They rub it and a Genie comes out.
> The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
> 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
> Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
> Puff! She's gone.
>
> 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
> relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
> Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
>
> Puff! He's gone.
>
> 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
> The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
>
>
>
> Moral of the story:
> Always let your boss have the first say.
>
> Lesson 4
>
>
> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
>
> A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you
> and do nothing?'
> The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
>
> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
> sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story:
> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
> up.
>
>
>
>
> Lesson 5
>
> A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>
> 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
> turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
> 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the
> bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
>
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
> enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>
> The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
> branch.
>
> Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the
> top of the tree.
>
> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
>
>
> Moral of the story:
> Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
>
>
>
> Lesson 6
>
> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
> bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>
> While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>
>
> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
> realize how warm he was.
>
> The dung was actually thawing him out!
>
> He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
>
> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
> cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>
>
> Morals of the story:
> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>
> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
> friend.
>
> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
> your mouth shut!
>
>
> THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
>
>
Thanks fro visiting my site

RVPWEBSI

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A BLIND BOY

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.

He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.'

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them
into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.
He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the
blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how
things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one
who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'

What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?


Of course, both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said
the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they
were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have.
Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.


Invite others towards good with wisdom.

Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.

Handle your present with confidence.

Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction,
of discarding evil and developing goodness?. In the journey of life, if you want to
travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'


The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!!!

And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!


Thanks for visiting my site..

Raul Pelagio

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The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl
tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year -
old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step
faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky
hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon
onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about father," said the son.
"I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served
in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had
a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when
he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood
scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly,
the boy responded,
"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when
I grow up.
" The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently
led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family.
And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care
any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens,
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life.."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug,
or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Thanks for visiting my site..

Raul Pelagio

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